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Eh, nvm the rant

2016-08-10 09:27:22 by TessaWuff

Nvm the Paul Fag rant, lotta things on my mind. Can't really just like, tell and stuff. lol

Here's the article tho, along with the video of him pandering to stuck up whores in a clownsuit. Read this article for yourself and you'll see why he's a self hating man-child.

Anyways, gonna do more stuff.. I think... Probably

Ghostbusters 2016 Salty Review

2016-07-15 10:35:11 by TessaWuff

(Before reading, some things to take into consideration. I have NOT seen the entire film, just a bunch of reviews of the film from around the web. I have not seen all of it aside from some clips, so take this with a grain of salt as this is my own stupid opinion on the Director and the film itself) ......(Also, spoilers. Lol)

Okay, so as if the new Ghostbusters film wasn't shitty enough, when you dig deeper and find out about Paul Feig (fag works better), it just totally turns the movie into something even more awful than what it is now! I'll touch on Fag later, I'm going to focus on the movie first.

So, without further delay, my review of the 2016 remake of the Ghostbusters film



vvv-The Movie-vvv

Most every movie has the base goal of making money, that's fine. Many films, while also having this as their main goal, often try to set other goals for the film. Such as making it good, or having decent characers. Ghostbusters 2016 however, just falls flat on everything else besides wanting to make money, and send a sexist message. Just look at Disney, they get away with money movie schemes all the time. Only reason not everybody is all pitchforks and torches about it though is because they at least TRY to make their films entertaining with relatable characters and stuff, and every now and then slip in the darker tones and slight adult hints in the background. (Don't get me wrong, I myself totally hate Disney, but I gotta give credit where it's due). This is just a blatant scam to try and suck money off of fans, and takes a total shit on a well respected and liked franchise with it's own unnessesary agendas.

This Ghostbusters remake, or whatever, is negatives all over. The characters are annoying, except for like, maybe one of them. The theme song is just rubbish, hitting a lot of bad notes or just being so overdone that it drowns out itself. The humor in this film is on par with little kid stuff with a bunch of slaptick nonsense, and has no real ground on it's own besides falling back on bland comedy for much of the film. It pushes a heavy sexist agend of 'girls rule, boys drool', going off on the tone of how superior women are to men, which really makes this pretty sexist. It has some stupid product placement in there, the most outright one being for fucking pringles; this being so outright that it even has an inserted line about "TASTE THAT CAN'T BE BEAT," or some junk. Lastly, the plot, it's so predictable and forgettable, that it's just more proof of this being a movie with no real goals other than money, and calling dudes retarded.



The characters are so bad, it's rediculous. Two of them are kind of into their scientific work, and wanting to be leaders. Thing is though, they both are just basically the same characters with very slight different personalities. Though, Dr. Erin proves to be less of a nuisance than the others. The two most absolute WORST characters in my opinion though, they have to be Patty (played by Leslie Jones) and Kevin (played by Chris Hemsworth). These two are the absolute worst characters in the film. Patty is your stereotypical black sassy in your face bitch from New York with a 'My shit don't stink' attitude. She's abusive to her coworkers, and self righteous thinking she's the best turd around (That one scene in the film where she slaps Dr. Abby EVEN AFTER the ghost stops possessing her, she goes "THE POWER OF PATTY COMPELS YOU!" This could literally be less stupid if it were in a cheesy McDonalds commercial about the power of the tasty beef patty compels you to enjoy flavor.) She is so overdone, it's just angering. Then you have Kevin, he's a receptionist that's suppose to be stupid and good looking, making the ever forced swapped gender roles more prominent. With Kevin, you have a forced message that men are stupid idiots with no real sense of humor. Beyond that, I don't have much else to say about him. Kevin literally exists in this film just to push a men are stupid agenda, he has no real point, I am extremely hateful of this character though for the forced sexist message. I'm left feeling that this movie intends to be serious with that too, so his character being that statement is just infuriating to me. I'm left with that feeling though after reading what the Director wrote in an article though. The last character to be mentioned is Holtzmann (played by Kate McKinnon). She's a wacky, zany character who is inspired by most things 80s. Her character just ends up not being really memorable as there's no real substance to her. Zany characters are really fun usually, and do provide great relief. Though, Holtzmann's character tends to be extremely forgettable. I feel the reason for that is because her character's element is already THE ENTIRE MOVIE. It's just like what Nickelodeon did with Sheen from 'Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius'. They put the comic relief character in a world that's as stupid and annoying as they are, thus making the character themselves kinda un-unique and boring. Holtzmann is a comic relief character in a movie where almost everyone is already like that. She's more of a ghost in the film than the CGI ones. Only thing left to mention about her is how her name seems to allude to 'Halts Men' or 'Halts Man', though with that I'm really just nitpicking.


One of the worst things this film has done is totally fucked up the theme song too! FALLOUT BOY made the new song for Ghostbusters (to my understanding),  and they did kinda alright?? It's not the WORST song I ever heard, but it's close enough to being just that. The song even has stupid rapping towards the end. Like, wtf? Rapping in it's own right is good, provided the lyrics are solid. These lyrics sound like someone just tried to find words that rhymed and slapped it in a song thinking they were the next fucking Dr. Dre! (I never heard his songs, but I heard he is a good artist)


Then there's the jokes, stale and bland. Sure, there's a laugh here or there in it, I'm sure, but most of the time it just tries too hard to make this an overdone comedy. Sure, the original Ghostbusters movie had comedy, but it wasn't just that. It was also a film with adventure, and interesting new ideas, like the part where the team are told to choose the form of the destroyer or whatever. The humor in the old film also had wit for the most part, and most everything about the movie is timeless. The humor in this 2016 shitfest of a remake is just so... annoying. Too much slaptick and everything else bad. Yea, this is a kids movie, sure, doesn't mean it can't at least be smart about it. (And for a kids film, what's with that one chick seductively licking her ghost guns or whatever? Like, wtf. Sure, blow smoke off of it, but I hardly remember any scenes from anything where someone licked their gun thinking "Yea, I'm a baaaadasss.")


The film has a heavy sexist vibe about men being buffoons and women being the utmost top people. The director HIMSELF states men as being a 'species' of their own. The film treats the male gender as the complete lesser of the two (or the lesser of the 500+ genders being made up everyday). It outright calls males out as stupid, ignorant, and all round just utter tools. It's hard to believe this is a 2016 movie, with all the pushes for society to be a more equal grounds for either gender or race. This wouldn't be so bad if the movie were only JOKING about it. Kevin and other possible male characters are intentionally put forth as lacking retards, and that's an awful message to be sending out for a kids film. A better message would be like 'be yourself' or that nonsense. OR BETTER YET, let ghostbusters have no messages and just be a fun film to enjoy! This kind of message in a movie agenda can be good, but this film just really pushes the letter to send a negative one. If you're a femanazi with no real intelligence, then this movie is just right for you! Feminism isn't necissarily a bad thing, it's only bad when it becomes a one side should be BETTER than the other deal.


Something else awful about the film, it pushes product placement. Now, admittedly I don't have much grounds to stand on to speak out about the product placement since I haven't seen the entire film myself. Although, this one is so in your face and fucking stupid, it's a huge mood killer even if you WERE watching the movie and enjoying it. From what I understand, at some point in the movie the character, Holtzmann, she literally stops focusing on capturing a ghost in the middle of a haunted area JUST to eat a bunch of pringles. When berated for her action by a fellow teamate, her legitamate response is "Once you taste this crunchy goodness, you can't stop!" Just.. ughushg! Product placement can be funny and well done in films or television, but right there it's just insulting to the intelligence of the audience (As if the humor, plot, characters, and sexism wasn't insulting enough). I'm not entirely sure, but I think even the company behind Pringles found this to be idiotic.


Lastly, the plot. Oh boy, this plot. Again, I haven't seen the film, but I took time to read up the plot online. The plot is pretty transparent, you can almost predict the bad guy as soon as he's on screen. Not to mention it really doesn't do much justice for a Ghostbusters film. The plot is basically: You have two nuts who go on about ghosts, get fired from their academic jobs, and go on to look for more ghosts! They hire someone to build them stuff, and then someone else tags along cause she saw a ghost recently and forces herself in. Wooptie do, now you got four folk to be the Ghostbusters! People constantly dismiss their claims of ghosts until the last minute when obvious bad-guy starts a war or whatever to command the undead and wreak havoc and blah blah. Huge battle at the end, then there's a bit where everyones dancing. I've actually heard there's a bit at the end of the fuckin film where everyone breaks into dance for no reason, then the credits roll. Now, this kind of plot has been done BEFORE and BETTER, yet at the same time I know I still find obvious plots like this fun. Still though, I'm not letting this film get away with that. Specially the way the really forced in Bill Murray's cameo. It's like a last minute write in just to make the film seem better cause they got the most popular original actor from the first one.



So overall, this film is bad on so many levels. The characters, the theme song, humor, sexist message, in your face product placement, and the plot. Hell, I haven't even touched upon the CGI, but you can see that from the trailers good enough. (Though, I don't care for the CGI, I find it okay. Many people have a problem with it though.) This film is absolute trash, and one of the worst movie reboots to ever dare pretend to be yet another classic franchise. It's really insulting when it has the same name also. No addition to the title to really separate it from the original, and I can easily see this messing up search results for the real film.

My rating for the film ---> 1 cola out of 5: It's a really bad film, and even worse considering knowledge on the Director. It manages to have a kinda fun lil plot and neat props around here and there, with some decent visuals. It's message, advertising in the film itself, characters, and etc, definitely make this an awful thing. If you intend to still see it, DON'T pay full price, and wait till it's on sale for DVD or Digital release.


Please, either see this movie as a joke, or see this movie if you're up for watching something, but don't really care at all what you watch.

In the end, I may like the film itself and backtrack my thoughts on my lil review here, but reading about the Director of the film, I sincerely doubt it.

That's my review of Ghostbusters 2016. These are just my personal feelings toward the movie, and if you decide you legitimately enjoy the film, than that's cool. Afterall, we're all different folk and have different views and opinions. Thank you for taking time to read this silly review of mine. I normally don't go off about reviewing things, so you won't see this often from me. :p


Enough of my views on the movie though. It's time to tackle the REAL monster of the film. The REAL villian! The one, the only, PAUL FAG (Paul Feig)

-I will rant off about Paul in my next post-

On the path of the right, or the path of the wrong, so can never go wrong with some extra bombs.

*offers some vanilla Cola* 


2016-07-11 04:07:39 by TessaWuff


But hey, I got Coca Cola in one hand, and a fully loaded pitsol that shoots dick shaped bullets in the other hand.

So I feel fine~

Ever get the feeling...

2016-07-10 07:50:14 by TessaWuff

that sometimes life, with it's infinite chances, always seems to just like giving you the shaft? I'm not talking the good kind of shaft that gives tasty whipped cream in a cold metal can (well technically that's a cylinder).

It's like no matter WHAT you do, it's a shitfest on ya, even when you're being smart, careful, and just generally doing things right. I mean, not all of us are 100% good folk all the time, and sometimes do deserver a kick in the ass here and there, but man is reality vengful. Step on a bug by accident then BOOM, your landlord starts extorting extra dough that a simple minimum wage can't afford, and family or friends that ya thought ya could count on to help are like "Well that sucks, good luck with that :p".

Maybe if there's like a cheat-code that can magically spawn from out of nowhere, or a cheat sheet to just give us great stuff. I don't mind if I looked like a total idiot out in the street jumping, and punching left or right, and crouching a bunch of times. No one's gonna laugh when suddenly it starts raining money from my pockets, cause then everyone will be running up to mug me and T-bag. Maybe some hobo with kung-fu Jack skills will pop up and make a bitch of us or somethin.


But hey, that's just a rant. A GAME THEORANT. Thanks for reading.

-FailStain, out

Sooo, need help.

Should I do a depressing one, a horror-ish one, or a light hearted cheery one?

I wanna...

2016-07-06 00:17:17 by TessaWuff

do stuff.

Bad stuff

TO MYSELF. Yea, idk what's going through my head right now. Things are tough, and right now on this awful road of life, things could get better or worse. But with me, it's always the worst part.


2016-07-04 08:35:28 by TessaWuff

well fuck me...

Today is my Birthday!

2016-07-04 02:01:48 by TessaWuff

I'm 20 now, please kill me.



I wish...

2016-07-02 04:25:45 by TessaWuff

For nipple cannons.


They would shoot magnificent bullets peppered with glitter, and they would be really deadly if it was cold around.